Friday, October 21, 2005

Justice DeLayed

I try, try, try, try, try to stay away from politics on this blog because, as I've said before, so many other places do that stuff better and I get tired of being so fraught about it all the time. But, really. This guy just makes it tooooo easy.

So let's take a poll. Who would you like to see on the Tom DeLay jury?

The celebrity perp pool is so deep these days that selecting twelve all-star citizens would be pretty easy, but let's make it a little more difficult. Pretend that the DeLay jury has to be made up of six ordinary folks and six big-name criminals - er, I mean, alleged criminals. Which six would you choose? Michael Jackson? Robert Blake? Martha Stewart? OJ? That cop-guy from the Village People? Winona Ryder? Phil Spector. Well, hon, the list does go on . . .

As I said yesterday in a comment on Shakespeare's Sister blog, a new simile was born with the Tom-DeLay-smiley-face arrest photo. Before yesterday when one of your friends did something wrong and gave you a shit-eatin' grin, you'd say "He's grinning like a Cheshire Cat," or "She's grinning like a jackass." Add to those "He's grinning like a Tom DeLay mug shot." (Although he might not be smiling so big if he has to do time and his hair-dye job does a big Robert Blake on him, eh?)

Let's help that judge in Texas by providing some juror names. Of course we run the risk of the celebrities sympathizing with DeLay (you just know Jacko would vote innocent), but the entertainment value of the whole thing would be worth it. DeLay'll probably walk anyway, so we may as well have a little fun while we're at it.

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