Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Don't-Know Chapeau, or The Conundrum of the Cap

It's cold. I need a hat. But hats are tricky things unless you're: a) a toddler, b) an old lady, or c) a guy. In order for a hat to work effectively, it must cover the top of the head and ears, since those are what the wearer is trying to keep warm in frigid temps. So far, so good. Until the hat is pulled off, and - ooof! - you're left with . . . the dreaded hat hair.

Now, every morning I spend a fair amount of time washing, drying, and styling my hair. The last thing I'm going to do is pull a hat down over my fine work and spend the day as Miss Flat Hair. I mean, no one strives for a Bad Hair Day, whatever gales are blowing outside. Forget it. I'll just freeze my ears off. A small price to pay for normal looking work-day hair.

I know what you're thinking: earmuffs. Well, yeah, and I do wear earmuffs on cold days, but they don't keep my head warm. And in really cold weather, that matters.

Believe me. I've tried everything. A jaunty beret? I look like Geraldine Chaplin in Home for the Holidays - yikes! A stocking cap? Bag lady. Wool scarf or pashmina? Terrorist. Icelandic knitted jobbie? Too stupid to mention. And all of them give me hat-hair. Pooh.

Listen, anybody out there who can invent a hat that keeps head and ears warm AND doesn't mess up the hair for the rest of the day will be a ka-trillionaire. Ideas? Really?


Anonymous said...

Tommy Tucker solved your problem in the song, "High Heel Sneekers"

Put on your high-heel sneakers, lordy
Wear your wig-hat on your head
Put on your high-heel sneakers, child
Wear your wig-hat on your head
Ya know you're looking mighty fine, baby
I'm pretty sure you're gonna knock 'em dead

Just go out and get a Wig-Hat...
A real NYC look.

Anonymous said...

Your friend Sand Mountain Linda is hair-obsessed. I bet she knows a trick or two! TC

Anonymous said...

Bro, you have got to quit hitting the moonshine up in those hills!
And Sis, get a coat with a big hood!
Lil sis

Liz Hinds said...

Nah, a coat with a hood is no good. Mine comes right over my face so I can't see or hear anything that isn't immediately in front of me.

I have to wear a woolly hat else I get earache.