Waiting

Something I hate to do. Wait. But it's a waiting kind of day, and as long as I have a good book, I can cool my heels anywhere. Unless there's someplace I have to be or standing in line at the post office. No book's that good.

Dark

Boredom

It's a kingdom I rarely visit. There are too many books to read and naps to take to travel very far into the land of Boredom. Just because I'm doodling or gazing out the window during this meeting does not mean I'm hanging in Boreville. Still, the sooner you wrap this up, the sooner I can get back to work. Or books and naps.

Backward

It's the way I don't want to go. Or the way to wear my pantyhose. But when I can't sort something out by looking at it straight on, it helps to flip it the opposite way, look at it backward, get some distance, put a little neon around it. Just remember, this does NOT work with pantyhose.

Journey

Is it well-planned or spur of the moment? Do I need a map, do I know the way, or will someone else get me there? How will the journey change me? Hey, maybe I'll change the journey. I think I'll let that sink in. Just be forewarned that the M42 is the slowest bus in Manhattan. Now, move along. (And apologies to those of you who thought this post would be about the rock band. Don't stop believin', y'all.)

Frustration

 

Too much to do. The pieces don't fit together. The words don't flow. Brick walls everywhere I turn. Silly mistakes. Supreme frustration. Breathe deep, take a hot bath, eat chocolate, and maybe little problems will sort themselves out. Now, where'd I put my glasses? 

Bittersweet

Happy tinged with sad. Bad with a good edge. The cloud with the silver lining/the silver lining with the cloud. Bitter/sweet. Triumphant with impending doom. Palms/crosses. No wonder I'm suspicious of accolades.

Danger

I'm probably most in danger when I think I'm completely safe. But I don't want to live in constant fear or always on my guard, so I'll accept the unexpected, out-of-left field, false sense of security trouble around the next corner in exchange for everyday joy. Losing trust and peace would be the real danger. (Watch out for that bus!)

Temptation

Intensity of desire plus the chance of guilt. Give in or walk on by? Depends on whether or not I can live with the guilt. On the other hand, maybe I should just hold out for the temptation of chocolate.

Crowded

Often, I learn more about myself in the middle of a lot of people than I do alone in wide open spaces. Tolerance of noise and smells, the amount of personal space I need, how many times my first impressions are wrong. Crowded can be uncomfortable. In a good way.

Hope

 

Just when you think it will never bloom again, there it is - a little red bud. It starts small. With a little water and sunshine it grows into what it's meant to be. Hope certainly sneaks up on me like that every single day. Keep the faith.

Prepared

I do my best to be ready for anything. I plan and research and line things up, thinking I'm prepared for any eventuality. Which can't be done, really. Life is too unpredictable. Still, I must remember to check the weather forecast before leaving home.

Surprise

The unexpected. Sometimes good, sometimes not so good. Surprises keep life interesting by putting a twist on the expected. Spring will come. But for now, snow. Surprise!

Search

 

Sometimes I know what I'm looking for and sometimes I don't, but I usually learn interesting things about myself in the search process. To find is another matter entirely, however.

Anticipation

Waiting for the unknown to be made known. Is the wait better than the reality? Sometimes. But so often more surprises lie ahead. Anticipation doesn't have to end after the present is opened.

Downsize

What matters? Of all the junk you accumulate over the course of a lifetime, what do you keep locked away in bins until you get time to use it, remember with it, listen to it. When you downsize so many times, at the end, what's left?

Energy

That boost that gets you up in the morning, over the day's obstacles, across the finish line. It's expensive and often in short supply. What are my most efficient, plentiful energy sources?

Before

Once. Then. Before. Spring cleaning forces me to sort through what was important yesterday. Petula Clark. Lennie. Care Bear. I can't have a now if I don't have a before, that's the truth.

Attention

We're always told to pay attention. It is the currency we use to learn new things, stay out of danger, make someone's life better.  But do we spend more time buying it than paying it? Wonder what my attention balance sheet looks like?

Economy

 

There's only so much to go around - land, food, money, overhead bin space. The trick is to take enough but not too much. I sometimes forget this. How can I do a better job with my tiny slice of the economy of the cosmos?