Tuesday, May 05, 2015

10 Questions About the Met Gala

The top 10 questions (OK, more than ten) that popped into my head while trying to avoid most of the news about this:
  1.  How many people are invited to this thing? I assume it's "invitation only;" do the invites come from Anna Wintour only, or can others get folks on the list, as well?
  2. I think the gala/ball is $25K/per person, so obviously you don't pay at the door. Do they give you little plastic, glow-in-the-dark wristbands, or stamp your hand, or what, to show you've forked over? I mean, what if someone on Anna's Pooh-List shows up uninvited/paid for? Who's gonna know? 
  3. The Met Gala is also called a Ball. Once they prance up that long flight of steps, do they go inside and dance somewhere? Is it like a Cinderella kind of ball?
  4. If there is, indeed, dancing, what space at the Met is used for that? The entrance hall? The Temple of Dendur? The American Wing? Is there a marquee out back in Central Park? As large as the Met is, there's not one space big enough for everyone to line-dance, so where?
  5. Once the women get inside, do they change into something more comfortable/movable/cover-up-able? Seriously, even if there isn't any ballroom dancing going on, how do Rihanna, Beyonce, SJP, et. al., keep from tripping and falling into priceless artworks? (The men don't have to worry because they're dressed relatively normal.)
  6. Is there drinking? If so, then I am really worried about all those Greek statues, Medieval armour displays, Tiffany glass, Rembrandts, and, yes, even the Temple of Dendur. Drinking, plus impossible-to-maneuver dresses, spells disaster to me.
  7. Is there eating? Aren't they worried they'll drip BBQ sauce down the front of whatever it is they're wearing? Do they hand out big lobster bibs? Or has everyone actually changed into jeans by the time the food is brought out?
  8. I get that it's a fundraiser for the Met's Costume Institute, but really, women, have you no decency? Have you no shame? Crazy is fine, but some of what makes its way up those steps looks like 1978 Frederick's of Hollywood.You could use a few style tips from Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis.
  9. Why do we never see pictures of people leaving the gala/ball? Do they just go up the steps and out the basement exit (no dancing, drinking, or food)? Is it really just one big photo op, then off to Starbucks?
  10. What in the hell are any of the Kardashians doing there? (And, yes, I'm embarrassed I can spell "Kardashian.")
I'm sure I could Google all of these questions and get answers, but I just cannot be bothered to spend one more millisecond of energy on this thing. Just please clean up after yourselves when you leave. Thank you.

1 comment:

Liz Hinds said...

As i said on facebook if those were the best-dressed what on earth did the worst look like?

Can you imagine how uncomfortable one of those gowns would be? Let alone all the other problems you mentioned. It's one thing to dribble ketchup down a £4 t-shirt; quite another to ooze over a piece of art.

No, not for me, thank you.I'll skip next year too I think.