Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Sometimes you just need a good laugh

And Elsie at Elsie's Space gave me one yesterday with her list of "How to Make a Woman Happy" vs. "How to Make a Man Happy." I won't repeat her list here - go read it for yourself.

But it did remind me of Jill Connor Browne and the fabulous Sweet Potato Queens' list of Five Men Every Woman Needs:

  1. One to fix things

  2. One to pay for things

  3. One to dance with

  4. One to talk to

  5. One to have sex with

And as she so accurately points out, 4 of the 5 can be gay! This list comes from her theory that women expect 'way too much out of one man, and if you're looking for all these things in one person, you'll never hook up. She contends that if you find one guy that can fill two things on the list, grab him. And a guy that can manage three check-off items is, well, pure platinum.

It's a theory that has totally changed my outlook on the dating scene. Also, I now understand why I have so much fun going out with my gay-guy friends. (Darn that pesky Number 5!)

I wonder if anyone outside the South gets the Sweet Potato Queens books? I find them hilarious. Anyone whose five food groups are: sweet, salty, fried, and au gratin is someone I want to chum around with. "Tragedy deserves food" is another bit o' wisdom with which I can relate. Let me remind you, there are lots and lots of tragedies in this world. If you don't have one of your own, there are plenty to spare. So don't feel bad whipping up a big ol' batch of SPQ "Chocolate Stuff." It will get you through any bad day, trust me. I've tried it any number of times.

Gee, how'd I get so far off-topic - from men-types to "Chocolate Stuff"? Oh, well. I'll let you figure that out. Now, get out there and do some laughin'!


Chris said...

Must say I'd never heard of The Sweet Potato Queens, but now you've pointed me in the right direction I'll soon make up for lost time!

And that choccy stuff looks.... choccy. Mmmmmmm...

Anonymous said...

Hey - have I got platinum then? Okay. I'll stop complaining and just get on with it!

Another great post!

MaryB said...

Chris - believe me. The Chocolate Stuff is wonderful. It cures all your ills. Except the extra-pound one.

Tamarika - lucky you! Hang on to him, friend! The rest of us are jealous.

Liz said...

I'm off to look up the Sweet Potato Queens too! Tragedy definitely deserves food, specifically chocolate.

Winston said...

Hmmm... I wonder which one of those 5 guy positions I should apply for. Alas, probably No. 1, or No. 4 at best.

MaryB said...

Liz - yes, you'll get a kick out of them. I have very few philosophical differences with SPQs.

Winston - well, those aren't the hard ones. It's #3 that's so hard to find! ;-)

Elsie said...

Mine must be platinum plus. He even dances, with a little coaxing.

MaryB said...

Elsie - wow! A (straight, white) guy that dances! You are a lucky gal!