Saturday, January 28, 2006

Answers to life's most important questions

Before trotting off to my strategic planning meeting (wotta way to spend a Saturday!), I thought I'd share the answers to the most burning questions in the universe. I'd love to say that I knew this stuff all along, but really, I just ran across it in The Times o' London in an article entitled "Why Do Men Have Nipples?" (Told ya' this was earth-shaking info.)

Besides the nipple-thing, ever wonder:
  • why some folks have "innies" and some folks have "outies"?
  • if yawns are contagious?
  • why old ladies have beards?
  • if it's more sanitary to be spat upon or peed upon?

  • My personal favorite (uh-oh, here it comes) is "Why can you light a fart?". No, no - stay with me here. This is very informative (and I quote):

  • An average fart is 59 per cent nitrogen, 21 per cent hydrogen, 9 per cent carbon dioxide, 7 per cent methane and 4 per cent oxygen.
  • Farts can travel at speeds of 10ft (3m) a second
  • A person produces about half a litre (1pt) of farts a day.
  • Women fart as much as men.
  • The gas that makes farts stink is hydrogen sulphide. This gas, which is less than 1 per cent of the make-up of a fart, contains sulphur, the smelly component. Foods that cause smelly farts include beans, cabbage, cheese, eggs, fizzy drinks.
  • Most people pass gas about 14 times a day.
  • Farts contain the flammable gases hydrogen and methane. The proportions of these gases depend largely on the bacteria that live in the colon which digest food that has not previously been absorbed by the gut. There is some danger associated with igniting flatulence. But students don’t seem to care.

  • All of this is true, of course, except the part about women farting. How absurd!

    Now I do not have time to give you the answers to everything, but like any good teacher, I've given you where to find the answers. Go get 'em, buck-o!

    9 comments:

    Walker said...

    So it is true that beans cause farts. Still I don't eat beans all the time so there must be other things I eat that cause me problems.

    I am certainly more of a windbag than I used to be.

    Is it true I wonder that the silent ones are the deadliest and if so why ?

    MaryB said...

    Hm. The answer to that must be in the next edition of Life's Most Important Questions. I'll keep you posted!

    Winston said...

    This post is a gas!

    Re: Women farting. Do too...

    Liz said...

    Oh no they don't!

    chux said...

    women farting? hey I though that was just the kids and the dog! I can't believe i've been fooled all of this time. Why someone would want to count them i'll never know, 14 per day!!! I know a man you can add a zero on the end of that! In fact speaking of delmonti (Dave) i've sent him a link from your site so he can read it for himself and hopefully stay off the carbonated drinks and cheese. I hope this works :-)

    btw
    the 'pink thingy' on my blog is the bacon which is sitting on a chicken breast with Rosemary, Parsley and Cheese. Not forgetting the Salad and the garlic mushrooms with olive oil!! Sausage on the other hand, I was a fan of sausage up until last night when I saw a program called MEADES EATS: FAST FOOD (couldn't find any links) and it tells what sausage is made from. I thought it was going to be bad but even I was shocked it was THAT badddd!! I wont speak of the details in nice company.
    :-) keep blogging !! chux

    MaryB said...

    Oooh, Chuckie-boy - does delmonti know you're dissing him all over the internet? (Hope you don't have to share an enclosed space with the guy! Wheeee-eeewwww!)

    Delmonti said...

    Ahem!

    Let me start by giving you a quote from my ex-wife when I apologised for "pumping" in the car.

    "Dave.... women pump, men fart and you just %@*king reek....pull over, I'll walk"

    I rest my case.

    chux said...

    It's true!!! Mary when you said "Hope you don't have to share an enclosed space with the guy!", does a footbal stadium count? Because anything smaller wont help!!
    I've told him about the fizzy drinks and the cheese, but rather than cutting it out I think he has increased his supply.

    I believe he is the primary reason for global warming, and I have a hampster and few dead cats from the vacinity of his home to scientifically prove the fact!

    He tells me that he remains single by choice, but I think nature has already decided that for him. (how mean am I !! strike me down he he)

    MaryB said...

    OK, OK, I'm a believer! Del-dude, I think we'll just keep this relationship long-distance, if you get my drift. (Though, of course, you're the one with the drift. Or waft. Or whatever.)

    Typing and fanning . . . .