What's the problem? Just get longer needles. . .

OK, this one was too hilarious to pass up. According to MSN, researchers have found that fatter butts require longer needles to deliver the intramuscular drug injections. Well, duh! Per the article:

Standard-sized needles failed to reach the buttock muscle in 23 out of 25 women whose rears were examined after what was supposed to be an intramuscular injection of a drug.

Two-thirds of the 50 patients in the study did not receive the full dosage of the drug, which instead lodged in the fat tissue of their buttocks, researchers from The Adelaide and Meath Hospital in Dublin said in a presentation to the annual meeting of the Radiological Society of North America.

Seems kinda gender- (and maybe racially-) biased to me. As a proud, card-carrying member of the VLA (Very Large Ass) Society, I'm never gonna be skinny-butted (and who'd want to be?) so just make those needles longer, folks. And after the eating orgy of the last four days, ya' better add a couple more inches, just for good measure.

Still, it boggles the mind that people actually research this stuff. All you'd've had to do was to ask any Joe/Jane walking on the street the question: Since butts are so gi-normous these days, do ya' think needles need to be longer to reach their intended destination? And I reckon 95% of 'em would've answered: Um. Sure.

I have got to think up some obvious thing to "research" and get me some of that grant moola.