Travel-weary bitch session

Just in from an overnight + one day in Raleigh - my third outta town gig in three weeks - and I'm ass-draggin', jelly-bone tired. I've always loved to travel, even for business, but it's just so much harder now than it was ten or fifteen years ago. I know, I know: 9/11. Still, I think things could be a little more efficient and comfortable. And don't get me started on service.

Just to wind down and give me a chance to get some stuff off my chest while it's freshly buried in my aching joints, here are my top petty little airport/airline peeves:

1. Those gray trays that security checkers make you put your laptop and shoes into. Is there not an industrial designer out there who can create a bin that's easy to grab with one hand and doesn't suction itself to the bin under it? People have to put down their stuff and pull apart the damn trays with two hands, while the folks in back of them get huffy (and then those people have to put down their stuff . . .). It might seem like a little thing, but the great tray discombobulation slows the security process down a lot.

2. And why do I have to take my laptop out? Again, can't some industrial designer create a scanner that clears whatever's in the computer bag, just like the hairdryers, Palm Pilots, etc. stuffed in my purse that rides through on the belt? Again, folks hold up the line to take computers out of cases, then wrestle with the sticky gray trays - tick-tock, time's a-wastin' and lines are lenthening, Security People.

3. Shoe-bomber or no, I do not want to take my shoes off in a crowded airport and put my clean little feet on that nasty, nasty floor. Hello? Mr. Industrial Designer? Fix this. A funny thing, though - when I went through security at Gatwick in England, I asked the guard if I had to take off my shoes. He gave me a funny look and said, "Why would you want to do that?" Guess Americans are the only ones with a security foot-fetish. (As if I could conceal a weapon in my strappy little business shoes - though I guess I could use the heels as weapons.) And no, I will not wear sweat socks with my business attire.

4. Suggestion: Airlines should add a pull-down foot-rest for all seats on the plane like the ones available on trains. I know all the carriers are in the process of going bankrupt, but customers are surely deserving of some comfort for their money. God knows the seats are smaller and closer together than should be allowed in nature or 737's.

5. Airports should be free wi-fi zones. Every freakin' airport has a deal with a different freakin' money-grubbing wireless company. Look, all we want to do is get a little bidness done or check our email or blog while we're waiting in uncomfortable terminals for delayed flights. Most regular folks can't be forkin' over bucks to Verizon or Cingular or Acme Beer and WiFi every time we hit a new airport. (And that goes for you highway-robbery hotels, too!).

Bitch, bitch, bitch. I know. Sorry. Feel free to add your own travel bitches. I'm hitting bath, book, and bed. Goodnight, my little wanderers. (And how's that NaNo stuff workin' for ya?)