Another brilliant idea

OK. So I was sitting in the movie theater on Saturday afternoon waiting for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix to start up, when the obligatory theater behavior code movie trailer hit the screen. It was a fun kind of musical rendition with animated Happy Feet-looking characters that took the standard "Please turn off your cell phones" to a higher level. The song threatened all kinds of retribution for incessant talkers, crying babies, back-of-the-seat kickers, and any other behavior that causes people to stay away from movie theaters in droves.

Then it hit me. This is it! This is a perfect way for airlines to remind folks of airline-travel behavior.

Picture it: the flight attendant does the old ". . . your nearest exit may be behind you" spiel, then shows an entertaining movie trailer. Something humorous, yet threatening that lets passengers know the rules of the game. Oh, I don't know, something like:

• "The guy behind you will shave your eyebrows if you recline your seat too far back."


• "Your child will be stuffed into an overhead bin if he/she runs up and down the aisle or kicks the back of another passenger's seat."


• "The parent or guardian of such a child will be slapped then stuffed into the overhead bin with his/her lovely child."
  
• "Any appendage that encroaches on the seat/s next to you will be chopped off with a sharp ax and tossed off the plane."

All set to cute music, of course. Harsh? Cruel? Only people who don't travel by plane much will think this is over-the-top. Anyway, the trailer would be a very wink-wink-smiley-smiley, just joking really sort of thing. Still, enough to make people wonder "Hmmmm, better stop hogging the armrest, or else."

Can you tell that I'm not looking forward to yet another trip to Columbus, Ohio, on Friday?