Tuesday, September 19, 2006

The "God" Questions

Years ago, Saturday Night Live did a skit about a guy (I think it was Billy Crystal) who'd died and gone to Heaven. God told him he could ask any question at all and finally have the answer - Who killed JFK? What happened to Amelia Earhart? etc. The little guy thought and thought, rejecting the big historical mysteries, and came up with something like "Tell me all the girls who had a crush on me in high school that I didn't know about."

So, you've made it through the Pearly Gates and you get three questions right off the bat. What would you ask?

Of course I'd love to know about the JFK and Amelia Earhart things, but I figure lots of other angels-in-waiting will ask those questions ( and I'll corner them for the answers later). If I died today, here's what I'd want to know:

1. Roaches - Do they serve some meaningful purpose, or were they just an unfortunate upshot of the Big Bang that You kept around for a laugh?

2. What really ticked off my good friend Emily the year we went off to college? Someone said it had something to do with a guy named Scott, but darned if I know; neither of us had a thing for anyone named Scott. What was the real story?

3. Why on earth did Michael Jackson destroy his own nose? (Or was it just an unfortunate upshot of the Big Bang?)

Those are my questions for today. They're very likely to change tomorrow.


Elsie said...

Good questions. Reminds me that there was something in the newspaper this weekend asking if you could bring back one person you lost for one day, who would it be and what would you do? I thought long and hard about that one.

Today's question for God from me would be "What is the purpose of the common cold -- just to make people miserable?"

FYI, I had lots of trouble seeing your blog this a.m., but now things seem to be working.

PT said...

1. What's the point of wasps?

2. If a tree falls in the wood and no-one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? Then again, if God is omnipresent, does he get sick of hearing all those trees falling over?

3. The Beatles or The Stones?

jomoore said...

Is Dec always the one on the right, or is that Ant? (This one might mean as much to you as e-coli in spinach means to me...!)

What's the point of toenails?

What's next?