Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Something to do while waiting in an airport

On the way to Baltimore this afternoon, I was lucky enough to get an aisle seat in an exit row. Exit rows are the primo spots on a plane - more leg room and the folks in the row in front of you can't recline their seats into your lap. Yea!

Flight crews try to scare passengers out of sitting in exit rows - "If you don't think you can perform the duties required in case of an emergency" blah-blah-blah - but I ignore the dire warnings. Any seat on an airplane that keeps the guy in front of me from putting his head in my lap has my name on it.

As I was studying the door to determine exactly how I would pull down on the lever and pull the door toward me in the event of an emergency, I came up with an idea. I think at every group of departure gates in the airport terminal, there should be a set of practice doors for all the airplane variations. Folks could line up and try their hands at opening exit doors.

Wouldn't that be fun? And practical? Not only would it make airline passengers more adept at opening these mystery doors, it would take up all that down time we spend in flight-delay-hell. Plus, give us a little exercise.

Of course, then the airlines' exit-row-scare-tactics wouldn't work any more. Still. I'd like to try my hand at a few practice rounds before being required to save a plane-load of people. Just a thought.


Anonymous said...

Hey Sis,
When flight attendants ask me (being as I'm lucky enough to snag the desired exit row seat), I always say "Shoot yeah, I'll get that door off and be yelling 'follow me' English, of course... on my way out."
Remember we called Daddy "Col. Sanders" 'cause he was a little chicken, too!
love you, lil Sis

MaryB said...

Exactly! I would be outta there. And don't crowd me, either. I know youre supposed to rip the door off and push it out the window, but I suspect in a panic, I'd pull it off and toss it over my shoulder.

Yes, seems I remember Col. Sanders and the Chicken Brothers!

Love back at ya! Big sis

jomoore said...

Excellent idea, Mary.

I'm always happy to pretend to be the 'calm in a crisis' type, just to get that legroom.

But I'm not so sure I'd be carefully reading the instructions if it actually came to the emergency evacuation.

Plus the lifejacket... Under my seat? Will I be able to reach it? Tying that neat bow at the side and not inflating it until I've cleared the aircraft? Having almost passed out through barely supressed panic on one windy landing, I'm fairly sure I'll just turn to a gibbering wreck...

Of course, don't tell the check-in clerk! I still want that legroom!

Liz said...

I love those seats. And I'd love to get to play with doors. The airline could still have their fun by playing an emergency situation commentary to make it more realistic and to see how you would cope with the plane crashing about your ears. On second thoughts, I wouldn't get on the plane after that!

Winston said...

Hey, they could even recycle a fuselage section with exit doors intact from planes being decommissioned. Keep that much out of the landfill.

Did you actually ever have anyone put their head in your "lab"? Second paragraph, last sentence.

MaryB said...

Such an inventive group are we! All sorts of ideas poppin' here - wonder if the airlines are reading Shorty. Nah.

And Mr. Picky-Pants Winston who never made a posting error - mistake duly corrected. ;-)