. . . So there I was, minding my own business, walking to the 116th Street subway station, when I felt three quick squeezes on my rear-end. I wheeled around - left hook ready to pop - when I saw the only person near enough to do such an ass-grab was a neatly uniformed school boy of about 12. Dark slacks, neat white shirt, horn-rimmed glasses - a scrawny little nerdy thing with his head down, trying to look innocent.
Well, I reeled in my left hook, and yelled "Hey!"
A girl walking behind me said "He seriously grabbed your butt!"
"And he's just a little kid!" sez I. We laughed as we made our way through the turnstiles.
"Well, I guess I'll take it as a compliment. If he'd been any older, though, I'd've slammed him."
Ah, the sidewalks of New York!
At lunchtime, I went out in search of a few things for my upcoming trip to Tennessee. New York's always in a rush - fine with me - but lunchtime is especially hectic. While walking down the sidewalk, the crowd had to slow down as two out-of-town business guys tried to figure out which way they needed to go.
I heard one ask the other, "So which way is First Avenue?"
Veering around them, not missing a beat, I pointed and said "Thataway!"
As they crossed Lexington to head toward First, one of the guys shouted to me: "I love you!"
"Love ya' back," shouted I and kept going.
So I've gotten a butt-grab from a 12-year-old and an "I love you" from the Out-of-Towners. Every day, an adventure!
I've noticed that these little happenings come in threes. Two down, one to go. What else awaits me today on the sidewalks of New York?