Wednesday, June 27, 2007

And now a word from steerage . . .

Miserable flight to Los Angeles yesterday. The guy in front of me felt it was perfectly OK to travel with his head in my lap the whole way. Go figure. His seat reclined so far back that my head was less than a foot from his head. I politely asked him if he could move his seat up a bit, but he just looked at me and didn't move an inch. So I kneed him and bumped the back of his seat for 5 solid hours.

Now, guys, I love y’all, but it does seem to be the menfolk who feel it’s their God-given right to recline as far as possible – even in the cheap-seats of coach – for air travel. A steerage seat in economy class ain’t your personal Barcolounger, Bub. Be aware of the poor schlub stuck behind your reclining ass before you tilt back 90 degrees. I’m guessin’ that 3-4 inches wouldn’t make much difference to your snoozing’ comfort, but it makes all the difference in the world to the person behind you trying to get a little work done on a laptop.

I felt like tapping Mr. Recline-O on the top of the head and asking if he’d spell-check my work. He was closer to it than I was. “Hey, buddy, does that sentence look right to you? Oh, and by the way. You’re going a little thin on top, and you have two cavities on the lower right.”

And the movie? The Astronaut Farmer. No. Seriously.

Here endeth the daily travel bitch session.

9 comments:

Dewey said...

Mary, here is a little tip that usually works. You take that little air nozzle above your seat and direct it to the top of his head. Turn it on full blast!

MaryB said...

And this is why you're 'way smarter than me, Dewey - what an effective way to "encourage" someone to move up a bit! I will definitely use your tip next time somebody wants to rest their head in my lap on an airplane.

Em said...

What a jerk! Maybe you could have asked him to hold your peanuts and soda while you typed.

MaryB said...

Good one, em - I'll put that in my travel bag o' tricks as well!

Winston said...

Wherein MaryB explains why Winston has not flown for several years and will resist with the tenacity of a pit bull doing so in the future.

MaryB said...

Smart guy, Winston. Flying is the absolute pits nowadays.

Joy Des Jardins said...

I like dewey's tip. For the life of me, I'll never understand how some people can be so thoughtless and rude. Some people just don't have any 'inner gauge' on how to respect another human being. Sad.

Liz said...

I am flicking through blogs quickly while eating breakfast but had to comment on this.

We went to see Macbeth in the Swan theatre in Stratford and the seats are just rows with no arm-rests in between. So I am stuck between 2 men (Husband being one) who both sit with their legs wide open. Now Husband I can nudge and push over but it seems too ... intimate to do the same to a strange man, so I spend the performance trying not to touch his leg.

Was I a wimp?

MaryB said...

Well, Liz (and welcome back, by the way - hope you had a wonderful little holiday) - I would've gone passive-aggressive on the guy. Everytime his leg fell into my space, I'd've crossed/re-crossed my leg and kicked him in the shin. Then, given him an apologetic little smile, "sorry!" Maybe after a while, he'd have gotten the hint. At the very least it might have had a Pavlov's Dog-effect on him - "spread legs, get kicked."

Or maybe you were just a victim of the Macbeth-bad-luck-play syndrome. But you? A wimp? Never!