Adult Entertainment? Who Says?

I was up 'way too late the other night watching old Twilight Zone episodes, when late night commercial fare started spewing forth during the breaks. You know the sort of stuff I mean - pole-dancing establishments, sexy phone call services, strip clubs. What caught my eye (not the pole-dancers, I assure you) was the term "Adult Entertainment" emblazoned across the TV screen.

Hmm. That started me thinking. Strip clubs and phone sex are not "adult entertainment." Those should be classified "Adolescent Male Entertainment." Nothing "adult" about 'em. You want adult entertainment? Here are a few ideas:

• Dinner with good friends - equally entertaining in a restaurant or in somebody's kitchen


• A child's school play or dance recital (you must be a grown-up to sit through these things and think they're wonderful)


• Any film that a) has a discernible story line, b) isn't more than 40% shoot-'em-up, exploding cars/spaceships, special effects, and c) has at least a few scenes where people are engaged in rational dialogue


• Kicking back at a cool venue with a great entertainer, say, Cafe Carlyle, featuring Woody Allen and New Orleans jazz on Monday nights


• A community theatre production of "Guys and Dolls," or any theatrical production - even "Hair"


• Your daughter's/son's soccer/hockey/lacrosse game


• Taking your dog for a long walk


• Playing on your company softball team


• Watching your kids put on a show in the living room


• Just pulling up a chair and having a conversation with your aunt or son-in-law or best friend

I'm not saying that Pole-Dance City or 1-800-woo-hoo aren't entertaining. Of course they are, at least to some folks. They just don't rank as "adult" entertainment. It takes more than phone sex or a strip club to keep a grown-up entertained, children.

Go forth and find some real adult entertainment, friends!