2016 Election Survival Guide

As a student of American government and politics, being pretty darn good at sorting through mountains of information and making up my own mind, and having determined who I'm voting for in the upcoming election, I hereby announce that I'm pulling out of the swirl of stress-inducing crapola being flung around 24/7. To save my mental and physical health, here's my plan for surviving the current political season:

1. Stop listening to and reading political commentary from family and friends. I love you all, so don't take my hiding of your social media posts, unfollowing you, or running away in sheer terror as anything other than protecting that love and my sanity. You are entitled to your opinions and the airings thereof, but I'm free to ignore - yea, even shun -  them completely. See you after the election.
2. Avoid all Op/Ed pages, letters to the editor, and social media comments. Yeah, yeah. I understand all sides. I also understand that people are mean and bat-shit crazy. Enough is enough. Movin' on.
3. Get lots of hugs and kisses and giggles from my grandbabies. Be as completely silly as humanly possible.
4. Pretend it's Christmas, and watch all the Scrooge movies and It's A Wonderful Life.
5. Read cozy mysteries, bathroom joke books, and comics. Keep it light.
6. Take long, fast walks while listening to old rock and roll or show tunes.
7. Clean out closets. Donate lots of good but no longer useful stuff to worthy charities.
8. Keep fresh flowers in the house. Because, you know, nature and stuff. 
9. Buy a new box of crayons and an adult coloring book. Nothing calms the nerves like the smell of Crayolas.
10. Pray. I suspect the future needs a powerful, omniscient deity to sort out everything. What's going on right now seems bigger than any human can fix. 
11. Stock up on gin and red wine. Drink a Co-Cola now and then. Eat some fried chicken and plenty of chocolate. You know, in preparation for the coming Apocalypse. 
12. Go to the symphony, theatre, or a Braves game. Applaud and/or cheer wholeheartedly.
13. Find the nearest roller coaster. Ride it, screaming wildly, as many times necessary to purge any fear or anger.
14. Volunteer for something non-political, though I guess it can be argued that everything is political. Perhaps something outdoorsy, like a road-side clean-up. 
15. Sleep. Gets lots and lots of sleep. Sleep until November 9th, if possible. 

So I'm waving a fond farewell to hate, bigotry, and uncivil behavior rampant at the present time and hoping our better angels show up at the ballot box. In the meantime, I'll cling to my 2016 Election Survival Guide as tightly as possible. Pass me a Co-Cola, will ya'? It's almost time for A Muppets Christmas Carol.